The Test of Life and sanity
by HunterXZain
Summary: I want to take the hunter exam because: A. I will annoy the hell out of new people! B. Micheal's lifelong dream is to be a hunter.Therefore,if I become a hunter first,brag about it,and tell him what a shame it is that he will never make it,I will crush his dreams. C. Nothing much D.Wasting space E. Why am I writing this journal again?
1. In Which We Talk About Stalking Uncles

A/N:Hey People!Felt like writing all of a sudden.

Disclaimer:I do not own HXH.  
Some Japanese guy does.  
Do I look Japanese to you?Then don't sue me.

* * *

**Nariko**

"What?!" I yelled into the phone infront of me.I was having a normal day watching dramas and anime until that hell of an uncle called.  
What could he possibly mean by his calm,happy "You're on your own Nariko-chan!" I could almost see his stupid fake smile on the other line.  
Why is he a friggin' idiot?

"I said you're on your own Nariko-chan!Only I said Nariko the first time,but I really don't feel like talking so I called you Riko and shortened it by 2 letters!" that hideous,idiotic,stupid,clownish(I don't care if its a word or not),dumb,filthy,creature explained.  
Yeah,I'm really mad right !That doesn't sound mad!

**! #*! I'M REALLY MAD RIGHT NOW!**

Much better.

"And you failed to notice that it took you 104 more letters to explain?" I ask,eyes twitching.

"Goodbye Riko-chan!"that hideous,idiotic,stupid,clownish(Still don't care if its a word or not),dumb,filthy,creature said.

"Goodbye!"I cheerily replied.

Wait...

"This is not goodbye!When I see you,I'm going to kick you to hell and back!Wait!I don't want you back!I'm going to kick you to hell and NOT back!"I yelled furiously into the damn phone.

I can't believe I fell for that stupid trick again!Why do I have the memory of a goldfish?Why is my uncle an S-rank criminal?Why does the store keep running out of chocolate?Why didn't they air the last episode of my drama?Why is Deidara indirectly killed by duckhead Sasuke?Why do skunk flavored jelly bellies taste like coffee?Why did that lawyer sue me for drug dealing?Wait,the last thingie was not my thought!Am I mixing up thoughts with me in my previous life?No!I was a drug dealer in my previous life?That's horrible!And not the point.

The point is that the friggin' idiot is ditching me and is taking the hunter exams without me!  
How dare he!

Well it's not like I was the one who wanted to take the exam.  
He was the one who said,"Hey Nariko-chan!Lets take the hunter exam!"

It's not like I was bribing him or begging him to go with me!I couldn't care less!

Well actually I can.

I didn't give him that "Face paint:Sensitive skin edition!" out  
of the goodness of my heart!Fine!I bribed him! So what?!

Now you're probably wondering:  
a)Why is she talking to that creep!  
b)Why does she know that creep?!  
c)Maybe even,who is she anyways?

Well:  
a)I don't know why I talk to that creep!  
b)He's my damn uncle!  
c)That's none of your business you stalker!Well maybe you're not a stalker.

Why am I writing this again?Yeah,because of"Anger managment problems/supressed misunderstood feelings."I am a completly normal being don't you agree? Of course you do.

I DON'T HAVE ANGER OR SUPPRESSED EMOTIONS PROBLEMS GODDAMMIT!

Whew-that feels better.

What were we talking about?  
Oh yeah,question c.

I am Nariko Yamada.  
Yes,Hisoka is my uncle from mom's side.

She died a couple years back and held Hisoka responsible of me.  
Why he still bothers is beyond even the awesome,oh-so-smart Nariko-sama!

Oh yeah!Bow down to me suckers!

Well finding out why he bothers with me is one of my goals in life.

Well,besides taking over the chocolate industry,world domination,being a hunter to ruin micheal's dreams and make him feel like crap(Micheal is my evil 10 year old neighbor.I swear he's out to get me),being a singer,chef,and learning how to fly.

Yes,I have many hopes for the future.  
Now on with my life story since apparently,that's all what you nosy people want to know.

Hisoka,being the S-rank criminal he is,stole me some money,blackmailed some housing agency,got me an apartment on a random island called knowhere(That's its real name I swear!)and left me there.

He visits every once in a while and sometimes calls.  
What a loving uncle Hisoka makes(note the sarcasm).

Even when he's here, he only texts this Machi person.

She never answered though.I wouldn't answer if I were her either.I mean,it's not her fault my uncle is a creep!It's no one's fault!Even my grandma who raised him and took him to all those circuses!How I know?

Excuse me!I don't think we've met before!My name is Nariko!Pleased to meet you!

On with it!I am twelve years old(and proud!)

If it weren't for "Just pop in microwave for 2:30 min!"meals,some old lady next door(I blackmailed her into doing my laundry.  
Hisoka did teach me something useful!),and TV,I would be dead.  
Probably.

I am a gamer,a feminist,a stalker(it runs in the blood),and God knows what else.

I want to take the hunter exam beacause:  
a)I will annoy the hell out of _new_ people  
b)Micheal's lifelong dream is to be a hunter.  
Therefore,if I become a hunter first,brag about it,and tell him  
how he'd never make it,I will crush his dreams  
c)Nariko+Hunter=$$$  
d)Nothing much  
e)Wasting space  
f)I'm hungry...  
g)OMG!Naruto's on!

I grabbed the remote,raised the volume,and plopped myself on the couch.  
It was the episode when Deidara and Sasuke fight.

"Die Sasuke!Die!No!Deidara,he went that way!Art is a **BANG** so die God dammit!"I roared.

The bell's annoying _Ring-Ring_ interrupted my daily Naruto commentry._I_ was interrupted.

"Who dares to interrupt me at such an ungodly hour!"I bellowed as I stomped across the wooden flooring to slam open the door.

When I did,I was only met by the blue eyes of my bestfriend."I thought I was your _best_friend,"she said,exaggerating the best.  
She also left out that she was my only friend.

"I thought so too,but what kind of friend disturbs my insult the sasuke time?"

"My kind,"she smirked."And don't you think it's dangerous  
opening doors for an unknown person at this time of night?"

Psh,this is knowhere,where the _old_ people live.

The most dangerous thing that could happen is old lady next door knocking thinking you were her long lost daughter.

But being me,I just said"Don't you think it's dangerous to be visiting at this time of night?"

"Geez,Riko,when was the last time you had chocolate?"

Did I fail to mention that my life is chocolate,and chocolate is my life?"Right before the store ran out,"I snapped back.

"I heard Hikari has some."

Pushing Aiko and running in the streets,in my pajamas at 1:00 am,I yelled"Hikari!I love you!"

"I thought you hated him"

* * *

**REVIEW!**It makes the world go 'round!  
It gets better I promise!


	2. For the love of chocolate and psycics!

Hey people!Thanks for the reviews!You made my day!

I'm still waiting for that chocolate though LilttleFreak!

Wendyvel,that's soooo sweet!Except for the Hisoka killing me part,that would be...AWESOME!  
I get to meet Hisoka!

Glad you liked it Hatori4eva!

Disclaimer:I do not own HXH.  
If I did,I would be an old guy who thinks hiatuses are cool.  
I don't know about the hiatus part,but I'm not an old man.I think.

But what I do or will own is the swedish chocolate LilttleFreak is giving me.  
You will give me chocolate right?*Hunts for chocolate*

* * *

**Aiko**

"I love you Aiko-chan!"

"Yeah,you said that 281 times now."I glared at the hyperactive brunnette infront of me.  
We were sitting on the couch until she decided running pointlessly in circles was fun.

At least she isn't chasing her tail.  
Yet.

Not that she has one,but you never know with Riko.

"Wow!You're so smart tracking things!One day,I'm gonna be just like you!"she had a proud look on her face.

Were those tears?

"So how much chocolate did he give you exactly?"

God,I am going to kill Hikari.  
Still,this is better than Emo-Nariko,but why did I offer locations for chocolate again?

"Someone gave me chocolate?"now she's looking at me with a look of wonder.

God,I have sinned,please forgive me for this heinous deed.  
But all I said was "Hikari"hoping she would catch on.

"Oh!Yeah,but he ran away right after I asked!So mean that Hikari is!"she whined.

Now know why I don't want Emo-Nariko around me?

"I wonder why,"I replied sarcastically.

"But there's still something I don't understand,"she said,now sitting indian style on the floor,opening a new pack of Maltesers.  
She's like a drug addict,but worse.  
Those should be illegal.

"It's 2:00 am,why are you here Aiko-chan?"

One of my favorite pastimes is messing with 'drunk' Riko.

"You don't want me here?I'm hurt,"I fake pouted.

"I love you Aiko-chan!Don't go!"

"282 times."

"But that's not an answer!It doesn't count!"

Sometimes,I wish she'd stop yelling.

"So you really don't want me here,"I sighed.

"But I love y-"

I'm here to take the fisher exam since sadist clown isn't coming,"I interrupted.

"It's the Hunter exam!"she corrected me.I didn't think she'd be able to do that in her state.  
Then I noticed something.

"So no luxury ships,sailors,sun,and swimming pools?"

"Nope!"

Damn it."Well then I'm out of Riko!Bon voyage!Good luck!Farwell!See you later!Adieu!"I rushed to the door of her apartment.

Yeah,yeah,you must think it's dangerous walking in the streets at night.

But guess what!This is knowhere,where the most dangerous thing is someone stealing your icecream.

Well,it is dangerous.  
If you steal it from Riko.I won't even start about that.

Besides,I live in the apartment building right next to Riko.

Nothing wrong with kids walking in the streets at 2:00 am right?

In my rush to the door,I accidentally hit the table.

Which fell on the TV stand.

Which also fell.

Why do chain reactions exist again?

"You broke it.."she whispered,bangs overshadowing her eyes.

Oh,crap.I'm going to die.I guess I'll write my will right here in Nariko's journal even if she will rip it to pieces after what I did.

"If I die young,bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in the river at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song"

It was too much to hope for.  
But it worked.

"You broke my TV...you broke it..hey!I love that song!"

Thank you God!Thank you The Band Perry!Thank you Hikari and his Maltesers!

Okay,now that's out of my way,let's get out of here _before_ she turns emo again.

"Where do you think you're going?"she beat me to the door and snapped it shut.  
_Crap._That's what my luck is.

"Um..to the..somewhere?Yeah to somewhere!"

Good comeback Aiko.

"Is it over the rainbow?"she asked me,getting excited.

God,she can be such an airhead sometimes.

And I thought blondes were the slow ones.

"Yeah,and it's way up high too."

Well,I hope it is.

"Can I come?"she asked,giving me her puppy eyes.

"No."

"Pweeease,"she begged,"with a hundred cherries on top?"

"I'm allergic to cherries."

Ha!Take that Nariko!

"Pweeease with no cherries on top?"

Doesn't she ever give up?

"No."

That was when she threw a tantrum.

"But I wanna go!I wanna!I wanna!I wann-"

"Fine!"

"I get to go?"she asked,a hopeful gleam in her green eyes.

"No,I'm not going."

Like hell am I ever taking her to somewhere.  
Not that it exists.

"So you're taking the Exam?

"Yeah,"I replied.

Seriously,I needed to get out of here before_ she _turns emo and notices the TV.

"Yay!Nariko is so happy you're going to take the test with her!"she jumped up and down.

Poor old woman downstairs.

Having to put up with Nariko's laundry and stomping.  
And now Nariko's talking in third person.  
Great.

"But wait!Nariko noticed something!How does Aiko-chan know about the Hunter Exam?"

I stared blankly at her.

God,_she's_ slow.  
Weren't we over this 5 minutes ago?

"Ooooh!Guessing games!Nariko_ loves_ guessing games!"

She clapped and got in a thinking pose on the floor.

She gasped.

She gasped again.

Her eyes widened,and she stared at me.

"You..Aiko-chan..you're psycic.."she said,as if it was the most amazing discovery in the world,"Well only the best expected from my Aiko-chan!"

Hers.  
Hers?  
Hers?!

"I am not yours,"I glared,"and I am not psycic-"

"You're so meeeeaaan!"she interrupted,drooping her head.

"-I just happened to talk to Micheal next door-"

"Micheal Jackson?!"Dude she has to stop interrupting me.

"No,Micheal the 10 year old boy whose lifelong dream is to become a hunter and eliminate your existance from this world."

"I always knew he hated me!Wait,what does eliminate mean?"

She didn't even question if I was being sarcastic.  
Not that I was.

Micheal and Riko have hated each other since I remember.  
Fights,pranks,wars,you name it.  
Last week was world war 4.

World war 3 was when...remember what I told you about icecream?Yeah,don't steal it from Riko.

Well now I have to explain 'eliminate' to Nariko.  
She's twelve,she should know what it means.

And that's what I told her,"You're twelve."

"So eliminate means 12 years old?So Micheal doesn't want me to be twelve?That's all?  
Can't he just wait for my birthday next month?He is sooo impatient!"

I didn't understand a word she said.I don't think she did either.

"Wait!If you're not psycic then..Micheal is psycic?!"

She looked horrified.  
Not that you'd care.  
What is up with her and psycics anyways?

"You're just loud,Riko."

It was then when I heard a faint yell.I think it was along the lines of "I'm not psycic,stupid!"

"You're so meean!"the idiot overdramatically lied on the floor and started sobbing as if she'd been told her long lost brother died.

"How insulting,"I rolled my eyes at her childish behaviour.

"Oh wow!I am so mean,that I can't live with myself anymore.I'm going to commit suicide!"I sarcastically replied.

I was so annoyed I was acting like Emo-Riko.  
What is wrong with me?

"I didn't mean to insult you Aiko-chan!Don't commit sudice!Whatever that is!I love yoou!"she flung herself at me.

Obsessive much?

"That's 283 times now."

Still counting.

* * *

**R**eally

**E**nthusiasting(Probably not a word)

**V**ery

**I**nspiring

**E**very

**W**ord of it

Pweeeeeeeaaassse with a hundred cherries on top?


End file.
